My dearest MA..

Something I DID,
I love having Tea and I try to go for the best possible Cup.
And then I began eying for a better cup, just to reassure myself that what I had was the best.
I was always unsatisfied at a certain level,
And thus never truly happy.

Something I LEARNED,
The type of container holding the Tea does not define the kind of Tea inside.
While if it is the Tea that we are interested in, that is the most important, i.e.
If considering TEA = Life,
Why do all the peripherals matter ?
Peripherals = Jobs, Money, Position in society, etc. = CUPS.
As they merely are containers... holding life together.
We end up concentrating so much on these peripherals, that we forget to enjoy the Tea altogether.

I learned to,
Savor the Tea, not the Cup...
See every passing moment...through the mind's eye..
Breathe...

My beloved Ma ( Grandma );
The Happy person,
She has not had the best of everything..
But she makes the best of whatever she has..
She loves unconditionally & enormously...

From her I have learned to,
Live Simply,
Speak Kindly,
Care Deeply,
Love Generously...

Love you for being my Friend, my Teacher and the #1 on my list of the most Important People...

Fighter...

The Fighter....

What makes a good fighter..?

He is not necessarily the one who knows where to hit, when to hit...or how to..

He may not be the greatest fighter that ever lived..

But,

It means to be diligent, committed and disciplined in

Doing something that you hate to do, but

Do it like you love it.

Always testing yourself, forcing yourself to push beyond the limits...

It means denying yourself what you love...

Being a fighter is all about the willingness to sacrifice...everything... for that, one, cause.

Ideally, you are expected to always have fun while achieving your goals... 

But how many times has that been true ? I wonder..

Most people don't have the determination... the will... the steadfastness... the tenacity....

they give in under the slightest struggle...and remain mediocre..

The fighter.... isn't the toughest guy... 

Unlike the saying " the toughest lasts the longest "

This is a smart man's world.. not the tough man's...

The fighter doesn't feel bad in his heart after knocking out his opponent..

For that is only a job accomplished..

For there are only two choices... either to knock him out.. or get knocked out..

And its only human to want to survive...

Everyday, the fighter trains to knock the opponent out..

And the victory is anticipated.. So why the sudden bouts of joy on winning..?

As anything other than that would only mean failure.

The fighter fights day in and day out ..

To acquire something... to acquire maximum power...

But the Enlightened Man realizes that life is all about loss & acceptance.

As we get older we loose our good looks...our hair, our teeth..

Our mothers, our fathers, our kins and lovers...

The true fighter is the one who overcomes these adversities and is able to transcend and spread the word to other people who are stuck in time.

Kathy's Song

I hear the drizzle of the rain
Like a memory it falls
Soft and warm continuing
Tapping on my roof and walls.

And from the shelter of my mind
Through the window of my eyes
I gaze beyond the rain-drenched streets
To England where my heart lies.

My mind's distracted and diffused
My thoughts are many miles away
They lie with you when you're asleep
And kiss you when you start your day.

And as a song I was writing is left undone
I don't know why I spend my time
Writing songs I can't believe
With words that tear and strain to rhyme.

And so you see I have come to doubt
All that I once held as true
I stand alone without beliefs
The only truth I know is you.

And as I watch the drops of rain
Weave their weary paths and die
I know that I am like the rain
There but for the grace of you go I.

--            Kathy's Song

Simon & Garfunkel

This is one of the all time great love songs.

Paul Simon wrote it in 1964 while he and Kathy were separated (not romantically but by distance).

This is a story that begins with a description of the circumstances of the storytelling itself, then proceeds to tell a story, then ends by connecting that story back to the present circumstances.

In this case: It starts with the image of "rain," then moves to a conflict between the life a songwriter has chosen and the woman he left behind, then ends with the songwriter comparing himself to the rain he opened with.

Simon misses Kathy, the woman he left behind in England. He had been there, and dated her, then came back to the States to make it big in life. Now, he is wondering if he made the right choice.

Maybe the rain reminds him of famously rainy England. But he keeps thinking back to Kathy-- "My thoughts are many miles away/They lie with you." The word "lie" is a subtle pun on the expression "my thoughts lie elsewhere."

Favorite lines.. 

"there but for the grace of you go I" 

we're all like drops of rain, can you imagine finding someone who makes your life more than just a weary path to death?

The raw and powerful emotions expressed in such simple words reminds me of the fact that life is simple, to love is even simpler and the truest and the most powerful emotions lie in lucid & humble feelings.

"I stand alone without beliefs
The only truth I know is you."

Finding such a deep love but having to part -- an age-old occurrence made anything but banal, rather, is being celebrated and his beloved fondly missed.

..... and To my beloved ....

"And so you see, I have come to doubt
All that I once held as true;
I stand alone without beliefs.
The only truth I know is you."

Click below to enjoy the song

Kathy's Song... 

My Story...

My thoughts....My story....what the hell am I talking about.. ??

The question of who am I ? and what am I all about ?.... constantly tingles the left side of my brain. Maybe, the primary objective of our brains is to serve our dignity. Although, my own identity eludes me, it insists that it has to be "My" version ... and not written by someone else. Being a firm believer in the fact that, it is always we who decide, whether it is out of emotion or rational; we are responsible for our actions, we write our fate and we choose our destiny...So, my future has to be My version of My thoughts.. telling My story... 

How do I write my 150 year plan ? Why 150 ? as calculated...no one that knows me today or in my lifespan is going to live beyond those years. Luckily I am in a profession of creating structures which theoretically are supposed to last beyond that time and recording my thoughts, telling my story through them would be a viable option, unless, laziness governs my actions on a hot Sunday afternoon and I just start writing a dream. 
Words can have multiple meanings and thoughts get complicated by the formation of sentences. There are chances that, it may not be my story anymore but left hopelessly, to the imagination of the reader. This reassures the idea of using creativity in its myriad colors as a tool to tell my story, thereby helping me visualize my future as a third person, looking at it inquisitively and being a little judgmental. Since, It is my plan of the future, initially at least, I should be the judge of it. 

Visualizing my future amongst its many possibilities helps me to set my attitude right. Helps me streamline my thoughts in seeing what is more important than the other, what requires more attention, priorities and a ton of other things which exist only to assist me in reaching a particular goal at a certain definite moment in the future. A strong tool to help me connect better with the most important person in my life, my own self.

I always thought that education is the most important tool to leave a meaningful legacy. Education is great. It teaches us who we are and helps us contextualize ourselves in this world. But for me, it was my creativity and a constant desire to push the boundaries, push my own boundaries.... shouting out, that I am much more than what my education told me I am. Thus, making it almost certain, that, that undying desire was the most important tool I have and the creative skill set should be used to help me curate my beliefs. Be it through facebook, instagram or this blog, it constantly challenges my own existence by questioning who am I ? and the creativity would curate it all. 
I've learned that in reality, there is no one way to go. Time is headed towards me. I am here now and CAN DO OR NOT DO only in this moment. Take a decision, NOW.. as everything else is just a possibility of a version of my imagination.

I am an Architect, a storyteller. My work is a print of my imagination, my thoughts and beliefs.. of what I am... ( the answer to which is constantly changing ) 150 years from now...
"Rutvan" means " the seeker " and I am in pursuit of my story...